Rose Quartz:
Where Love Begins

In the early days of my fascination with crystals, I was particularly drawn to rose quartz. Maybe, as a girl baby, I was trained in the crib to like pink, maybe, as someone with a lot of fire in her chart, I do better with a softer vibration of red, maybe it was the love vibration.

My cat, Binx, then a lively two-year old (now grazing on catnip beyond the Rainbow Bridge), calmed down quickly when rose quartz was around. Although cats are said to not perceive colors, Binx always managed to pick it out from other stones, whether it was in rough, tumbled, or jewelry form. For years, she had a very large tumbled stone that she played with and licked.

My strong interest in rose quartz faded after a while. Probably it had done its job for the time being. In September, 2004, though, I felt a great urge to wear this crystal. I chose a large oval-ish cabochon (shown at the beginning of this article on the web site) and began wearing it on a daily basis.

Interesting things began to happen. I'd been mildly ill and a little more than mildly grouchy ever since returning from Ireland in mid-August. I wasn't happy to be back in the U.S., I hated the weather, and it felt as if inner mold was beginning to match the fungoid growth appearing everywhere. I was easily irritated by people.

On went the rose quartz, and my bad attitude became more transparent to me. I began to ask myself, "Who do you think you hurt when you get grouchy?", "Do you really like feeling this way," and "Is it possible that your complaints about others are really misdirected complaints about yourself."

At one time, I would have told myself to stop with all those questions, but now I was able to truly hear them, to relax my judgments, to give myself a break by giving others one. I don't give my rose quartz pendant total credit for this, but I give my willingness to take in its vibrations a lot.

Where Is the Love?

I remember seeing a poster from a peace rally in the late 1960s that read: "We've tried everything else. Maybe it's time to try love." Whether someone's talking about the wounded inner child, clearing up relationships from the past that continue to haunt us, or issues of forgiveness, we are increasingly recognizing the experience and expression of love as the ultimate healing.

Our biggest problem is how to get it.

As children, we become experts -- or failures -- at learning what kind of behavior will call forth love from our parents and what will cause its withdrawal. Whether we succeed or fail, we decide that we get love based on what others think about us.

When we come to that conclusion, we have learned to judge ourselves by the standards of others. These others, however, are interested in our behaving in a way that makes them feel good. Whether it makes us feel good is a secondary concern.

Depending on a source of love that's based on pleasing others is somewhat like depending on an addictive substance to make us feel good. The cost is high, and it never fully satisfies. Worst of all, looking for love and satisfaction from the outside, weakens our inner connection to the flow of love from the source that created us and whose love is unconditional and unending.

Coming Back Home

Rose quartz helps us return to that inner source. It's fair to note, however, that the journey can be a rocky one. When one begins to work with rose quartz, one may find that vibrational patterns of rejection and negative opinions of self are stored in the heart chakra. Often they must be released in order for a true sense of self-love to flow.

These patterns frequently surface in the form of painful memories. Allow them to arise, but also remind yourself firmly that they are part of the past and that they can only influence the present if you allow them, too. It can be very helpful to tell yourself, "This is not who am now, and it's now who I am becoming."

In The Nature of Personal Reality, Seth (as channeled by the late Jane Roberts), says, "Affirmation is the acceptance of yourself in your present as the person that you are. Within that acceptance, you may find qualities that you wish you did not have, or habits that annoy you. You must not expect to be 'perfect' . . . your ideas of perfection mean a state of fulfillment beyond which there is no future growth, and no such state exists."

We wouldn't tear down a house because it had a broken window, and we don't need to demolish our self-love because of habits or characteristics in need of change. A flower doesn't blame itself because its petals haven't yet formed. A snake doesn't blame itself because it has a skin to shed, and a butterfly doesn't pause to look back at its tattered chrysalis. We can love ourselves unconditionally while accepting that we have some growing to do.

Methods for Working with Rose Quartz

As Part of a Chakra Layout

Rose quartz's natural resting place is on the heart. It can be put here as part of a chakra balancing layout. See an article on the chakras for other crystals to choose from for this kind of layout.

Also remember that in a chakra layout, you aren't limited to one stone per chakra. Some people find that initially, rose quartz's energy is too intense. In this case, the following stones can be added:

  1. You can circle your stone with four aventurines, thus creating an energy of heart balancing.
  2. You can place chrysocolla next to rose quartz to add the energy of peace.
  3. Add a rhodonite for patience with the process.
  4. You can place a charoite on the third eye if the use of rose quartz is activating fear.
  5. Use hematite for the base chakra stone.

Using Rose Quartz on Its Own

Hold a rose quartz in your hand, and, while holding it, silently or out loud repeat an affirmation ("The past is over; I am a stronger person now." "I accept all that I am.").

Sleep with rose quartz beneath your pillow. The pain of the past may come up in dreams; you can more readily handle this if you affirm before you go to sleep that you are ready to release the past.

Wear it. This helps in the slow and steady activation of its energies.

Specific Uses

When I have to make a phone call on a subject that is making me feel angry, I like to hold rose quartz first and call forth my highest intentions. Depending on how angry I am, these intentions may not be very high, but the crystal and my intentions do make an improvement. I keep the rose quartz close to the phone to remind me of these intentions.

Rose quartz is also an excellent stone to program to help you bring more love into your life. See for more information on programming crystals.

Ask Yourself . . .

What changes would you make if you believed that you were completely responsible for the presence of love in your life? What friendships would you heal? How would you treat the people you work with on a daily basis? How would you handle the man who bumps into you on the subway, the clerk who gives you incorrect change, the receptionist who tells you (after you've been waiting for half-an-hour) that the doctor just stepped out to lunch? How would you act if you believed that you were the source of love in any encounter?

How would you change the way you treated yourself? A seed planted in frozen soil will not grow, and our personal seeds of love will shrivel if we plant them in soil that lacks the nutrients of self love and self esteem. To experience the flowering of love in our lives, we must first love ourselves.

Enjoy and respect your rose quartz. More than any other crystal, it teaches the lesson that all emotional wounds can be healed, and that the source of love comes from within.

Historical/Mineralogical Addendum

As its name suggests, rose quartz is a form of quartz, given its pink color principally by titanium. Unlike clear quartz, amethyst, citrine, and smoky quartz, it rarely forms in points or clusters, although such specimens can be found in Brazil, Maine, and California.

In massive form, it is mined in Brazil, South Dakota, Colorado, Arkansas, California, Switzerland, Madagascar, India, Germany, Scotland, Ireland, Spain, Malagasy Republic and Canada. Madagascar rose quartz is especially fine in quality.

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