When Help Knocks on the Door,
Do You Lock It?


I realized recently that sometimes I do. I belong to an EFT practitioners' online group, with members from all over the U.S. and from other countries. A member offered to lead a teleconference, and I signed up, thinking it would be on the phone. I can do phone.

He contacted me to ask for my Skype ID. I know what it is, but the idea of installing and using it was way beyond my comfort zone. I responded, "I don't know anything about Skype, so I can't do it."

He emailed back to say Skype was really easy, and another member emailed to also encourage me to give it a try. I had a negative reaction that got my attention enough for me to decide I needed to explore it.

I was annoyed. I wanted to say, "Why are you bothering me about this? I said no." Further examination of my emotions revealed that I was really saying, "Why do you want to make a fool out of me and expose my inadequacies?"

The Moment of Truth

That brought my negative ramblings to a halt. How many times when people have encouraged me, did I feel that they were, with malicious intention, setting me up for failure and humiliation?

If you'd like to, pause here and think of a situation where you may have viewed offers of help or suggestions that you try something new as veiled or not-so-veiled criticisms of your ineptness. Alternatively, choose the most powerful instance you can remember of having any negative response to someone's offer of help to change a situation you didn't want to change.

Saying the Bad Words

nce I realized I could no longer come up with a good reason for being stubborn and resistant, I decided to learn how to use Skype. However, the little voice that said I was no good at technical things didn't shut up for a minute until I let it speak through tapping.

This is one of the nice things about EFT. The first part of the EFT setup statement, instead of suppressing that voice and forcing it to go underground and wreak all sorts of havoc behind the scenes, encourages it to have its say. You can say, "Even though I think no one will ever love me" or "Even though I think I'm a complete jerk" without feeling guilty for your negative words.

I followed the setup statement, "Even though I think I'm no good at technical things, I choose to release this belief", with a few rounds of tapping before I installed the program. I was so surprised when it worked-and maybe a little disappointed. The voice was, because the voice wanted to be right.

How Important is Being Right?

For me, until I examined and dispelled my reaction, it was more important than being happy and fulfilled. When I thought about that, I realized I'd just discovered a tool to help me have a lot more happiness in my life.

However, it took some tapping.

If you chose an issue or situation that still has charge for you, pause again and ask yourself how important it is for you to be right about the things you can't do.

Here are some of the tapping phrases I used for this situation.

Even though I think it's more important to be right than to be happy, I choose to prefer happiness.

Even though if I'm not right, I look bad, I choose instead to feel good.

Even though being right means survival to me, I choose to thrive in happiness.

I have to be right.
It's really important to be right.
They'll laugh at me if I'm wrong.
I can't stand to be thought wrong.
I hate to be humiliated.
I won't let them do that to me.

And similar phrases

Then do a round that begins to expose the ridiculousness of it all.

I'd rather be right and dead than wrong and happy.
I'd rather learn nothing than take a chance of making a mistake.

And similar phrases

Finally, I loaded up on positive phrases. You have to make some mistakes in order to learn.
Life without change is boring.
Everyone was a beginner once.

The Fear Factor

Releasing the need to be right is sometimes enough, but I find it valuable to investigate whether a change of fear is fueling that need. Does "I can't" hide "I'm afraid?"

Think of a change you're considering. Say to yourself, "I'm afraid to make this change." How true is that on a scale of 0 to 10? If you get anything above zero, it's worth some tapping.

Tapping is equally worthwhile if you're determined to push against your fear in order to make a change. Since the Law of Attraction states that you will get back the energy of whatever you're vibrating, if you're fearful and keep struggling on, your journey will give you plenty to fear.

This is why Abraham (channeled by Esther Hicks) says that 99% of all achievement is vibrational, and 1% is action. Once your energy is aligned with the goal you seek, the action part is effortless.

Say something like,

Even though I'm afraid because this change has a lot of unknown factors, and I'm comfortable where I am, I choose to release fear.

You can add specific factors: "Even though I'm afraid to learn new procedures, have a new boss, live in a new neighborhood . . ." Repeat whatever fears you've discovered in your reminder statements.

As you feel the fear releasing, see if you can add an element of excitement and anticipation.

Even though I'm afraid to make this change, I'm excited about what it might bring.

Even though I'm afraid to make this change, I love the idea of growing and learning.

And especially,

"Even though I'm afraid to make this change, I welcome the help and support others offer me."

Use the reminder statements to reinforce this, especially,

"I am blessed to have such good friends" and "I enjoy their support."

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