As a child, I took piano lessons. Though I had no genius for playing, I could always tell when I'd hit the wrong note or chord. It sounded awful and it felt wrong. When this happened (a lot in the early days), I'd quickly move the offending finger(s) to the correct position. Once I'd had enough practice, I managed to routinely hit the right notes.
Music probably comes closest to emotional sensing. Both are based on vibratory attunement. Not everyone is born with the ability to identify an incorrect musical note, but we are all born with the innate ability to know what thoughts and feelings bring us into harmony.
We have this ability because we are part of universal source energy, the ultimate in fine-tuning. We can never lose this connection, but we may drown it out with discordant notes, such as anger, guilt, resentment, and other negative emotions. The emotions themselves aren't the problem; discordance lies in the thoughts and/or actions that call them forth.
To use a simple example: you're driving, and a car darts in front of yours, nearly causing an accident. Your initial reaction will probably be fear-"This is dangerous." As any creature would, you will try to get yourself to safety.
Often a more human response follows. You may shout, "You idiot!," hit the steering wheel, lean on the horn, or in other ways express your anger. Some people feed the initial fear by reliving the episode over and over again, imagining scenarios in which the car did hit theirs, and worse followed. They may also tell people what happened, another way of reliving the incident.
Others blame themselves. "Maybe I was the one who was driving incorrectly." Some blame in a global way. "I see too many terrible drivers on the road. There ought to be a law."
A car nearly hitting yours represents true potential danger. Others incidents present less danger, but we may react to them just as negatively.
A Song of Abandonment
A friend calls me to say she can't make a lunch date because an emergency has arisen. I can:
A. Ask about the emergency, offer condolences, and reschedule.
B. Wonder if she found something more interesting to do that day.
C. Decide she no longer wants to be my friend and is abandoning/betraying me.
Choice A would be a logical one, based on the information I've received. Choice B introduces some doubt and a question of self-esteem. "Am I boring?"
Choice C is probably based on past history of abandonment and betrayal. "That's what they always do, from the time my mother had another kid and forgot about me, and my best friend in grade school dumped me." Evidence for abandonment is easy to find.
Sounding the Alarm
When we think thoughts of abandonment, the universe doesn't hear "Everyone abandons me, and I don't want them to. Make them stop." It hears only "Everyone abandons me" and responds with more of the same. This is commonly called the Law of Attraction, and it often seems unfair-except that we always get an internal warning, in the form of negative emotion.
When a firehouse sounds an alarm, firepeople rush there, prepared to go to the rescue. Negative emotion sounds a similar alarm, but it comes in the form of a caution, like the computer messages that ask, "Are you sure you want to open this file?" It warns us that we've gotten out of harmony with our true selves and that how we're vibrating may have unwanted consequences.
Anger, guilt, resentment, and similar emotions are designed to tell us when we're thinking discordant thoughts. These emotions give us the opportunity to correct our fingering and find our attunement. Too often we don't take it.
Sometimes we become so accustomed to certain forms of negativity that we don't even notice them. They're like the background noise one learns not to hear. If we're always a little depressed (or always about some areas of life) or easily angered or experiencing fear about some subjects, that's how it always seems to have been.
Some people push negative emotions below the level of awareness. They don't want to know about it. Life is great, and when it isn't, they can choose a variety of substances and practices to dull or suppress the pain.
This means also suppressing the guidance system that employs negative emotion in order to bring us into harmony with ourselves. The more a semblance of harmony is artificially achieved, the less one reaches to hear inner guidance.
While the subject of addictive behavior and substances is well beyond the scope of this newsletter, the experts in vibrational healing whose work I've studied agree that in order to become free of addiction, it's essential to be willing and able to experience feelings and emotion.
"Because It's True"
Those who are able to feel negative emotions can get very reasonable and logical about them. Isn't it normal to be depressed when a lover leaves, discouraged when the bank account is empty, or angry about a botched repair job? These bad things are supposed to make us unhappy.
However, it wouldn't be normal for a musician to say, "That's the chord I hit, and I've got to keep playing it, even though it sounds awful." In the same way, when we sense a discordant emotion and realize we're thinking in a negative way, we seek a more harmonious emotion by thinking more positive thoughts.
Though I encourage the release of negative emotions, I don't encourage pushing them away. I recommend recognizing them. "I'm feeling abandoned and rejected" is an emotional reality.
One paradoxical way to release this emotion is to exaggerate it. "No one loves me. No one has ever loved me. Everyone hates me. I am a thoroughly unlovable person." This is like playing the discordant note until you can't bear it any more, and every fiber of your being longs to return to harmony. You also realize that the note is not only discordant but also false. You're not such a bad person. Lots of people like you, and you can give your attention to them. (Note: this method isn't for everyone, but you may want to give it a try.)
Another approach is to ask "Is it really true that s/he abandoned and rejected me?" You may come up with a no. You may come up with a yes, in which case ask, "Does it really matter? Is it worth being miserable? Is s/he the only person in the world?"
A third method is to more actively seek experiences that feel good. Spend more time at whatever you enjoy and deliberately appreciate the pleasure, excitement, or joy it gives you. As your mental/emotional balance shifts from negative to positive, the harder it will be to tolerate negativity as "normal."
Attunement is your birthright. Your inner guidance is constantly teaching you to be a great musician, able to easily find harmony in your life.
In general, selection of crystals and essences is best based on the specific negative emotion. Read brief descriptions of crystals.
For Bach Flower Remedies,you can also read brief descriptions.
If you click on the name of a crystal or essence, you will go to an expanded description.
The crystals and essences suggested below have general application for negativity.
Carnelian, known as the "Be here now" crystal, helps us to focus on the present.
Green Calcite eases old, limiting beliefs (especially those based on fear) from the mind so that new ideas can flourish.
Charoite helps us to handle known fears and brings unknown fears to the surface for healing.
Fluorite is a mental stone that helps to release persistent and unwanted patterns of thought. Green fluorite is particularly helpful with thought patterns that have lodged in the emotional body, such as anxiety and worry.
These are all Bach Flower Remedies.
Agrimony is especially helpful for those who bury negative emotions. Those who need it may hide their troubles from others and from themselves. Alcohol, drugs, food, or work may help them in this avoidance. Agrimony teaches honesty about feelings and the ability to express them.
Being stuck in the past, including past ways of responding emotionally to situations, can stand in the way of current happiness. Honeysuckle teaches the ability to live joyfully in the present.
Fear, whether known or unknown, frequently sounds discordant notes. Mimulus, for known fears, and Aspen, for unknown ones, can bring back to attunement.
Finally, Larch can be used for chronic or acute cases of low self-esteem.
Beyond the Rainbow