Getting Out of Our Own Way

colored bar

In September 2000 I bought a used car. At the end of the year, I was offered a very good deal on a car I'd been leasing, and I decided to buy that car and sell the other.

I put ads in local papers and received a few calls expressing vague interest. I also did some online advertising. I supplemented my practical efforts with lots of visualization. I saw a check for the amount I wanted to get for the car. I visualized myself depositing it. I imagined the car going to some young person of college who would find it great for traveling back and forth to school.

After three months, the car remained unsold, and I couldn't figure out why. I was trying really hard, wasn't I?

colored bar

The One-Person Tug of War

Suddenly, my awareness about the effort I was expending sparked a realization. I was trying so hard because I was working at overcoming some powerful resistance.

I decided to stop struggling and instead discover the source of the resistance.

That source, it will probably not surprise you to hear, was me.

At the time I'd decided to buy the second car, I'd inflicted unreasonable mental punishment on myself for having been so stupid to have bought the first car without seriously considering the possibility of buying Car Number Two. Having successfully attacked my self-esteem, I was now open to deciding I'd made a poor choice in buying the first car at all, a mistake no one else would make. I painted a grim scenario in which I was stuck with a car I didn't need.

Perhaps worst of all, I made a blanket indictment against myself. I accused myself of being incompetent with money. I reviewed every bad financial decision I made as evidence for this claim.

I decided, with great resolution, to let go of all that, mentally muttering to myself that what was done was done, and I would learn a lesson (an only slightly veiled form of punishment), and similar statements. Some of these statements would have had value if I'd believed them.

As it was, my pretense at letting go of my opinions about myself was the equivalent of burying toxic waste near a water supply. Those opinions, psychic toxins, continued to contaminate and block my ability to manifest my intention to sell the car.

colored bar

The Cleanup

Once I caught on to the mass of beliefs about myself that were blocking me, I looked at them more carefully. My first step was to borrow a practice from the Seth material (as channeled by the late Jane Roberts).

Seth says it can be very powerful to imagine the worst thing that could happen. Those of you with well-developed abilities to imagine the worst may not think this is a good idea. Here's why I think it is.

Usually, when it comes to this worst thing, we are trying to avoid thinking about it, just as we may bury the beliefs that are keeping us from having what we want. You may say, "Oh, no, it seems as if I'm always thinking about this." It may seem that way, but if you study your process with this particular thought, you may experience that it comes into your mind, then you push it away, then it comes again, then you push.

Thus, you are most likely in a process of resistance. As the saying goes, what you resist persists, because in resisting it, you are unknowingly giving it energy. You say to yourself, "I don't want to think about this," but the universe hears "THIS" and thinks you want more.

Instead of resisting the possibility of not selling the car, I allowed myself to imagine it. I wouldn't get back the money I'd paid and I would have to pay insurance on it.

This possible future looked a lot less awful when I allowed myself to experience it. It certainly wasn't anything worth beating myself up about, so I gave myself a break, both in this way, and by consciously reinforcing my self-esteem by reminding myself of all the very good financial and other decisions I'd made in my life.

colored bar

As With Cars, So With Life

I hear someone saying, "There are much bigger things to worry about than not selling a car." Indeed, there are, and the process for what stands between you and what you want is the same.

Let's say someone has lost a job. On a practical level, she worries about paying all the bill, maybe losing a house, car, going into debt. On an emotional level, she feels humiliated, can think of every mistake she made that caused her to lose the job. Even if her ability wasn't in question, she thinks she should have stayed at her prior job instead or chosen a different career or gone into business for herself. No decision is too ancient to be regretted.

To resist these thoughts and feelings, she may try very hard to get a job. She sends out lots of resumes, she gets lots of interviews, but she's nervous and anxious about financial disaster, and because she doubts herself, she doesn't come across as confident. No one hires her.

If instead, she allows her resisted emotions of humiliation and despair into consciousness, she can begin to release them. Once she's familiarized herself with how these feelings feel, she begins to move away from them by reminding herself that the worst doesn't doesn't have to happen. She tells herself she has choices and that the best way to realize the outcome she desires is to elevate her self-esteem level.

She reminds herself of all the great career or job choices she's made and tells herself she's very good at what she does. She may also decide this is a time to take a look at whether she wants to continue in her present career. Does this field nurture her? Does it bring out the best in who she is? Does it fully utilize her talents? Has she all along been wishing she could do something else?

What in the realm of occupational possibilities feels good? By that I mean: What excites her? What gives her a warm feeling? What inspires and energizes her? It may turn out to be the field she's in. Doing the exercise can help her to reconnect with the enthusiasm that may have dampened when she lost her job.

Whatever she decides, she then tells herself she deserves the absolute best -- until she absolutely believes it.

Note: At the end of this article is a list of articles on the Beyond the Rainbow web site related to self-esteem.

colored bar

What Happened

Once I saw what mischief I was doing to myself and took corrective measure, the energy around selling the car shifted dramatically. During the second week of April, people suddenly became very interested in the car for sale. During the third week, one person came to look at it, a first.

During the last week of the month, I sold it to a young man who was going to commute to college the following year.

colored bar

How To Tell You're in Your Own Way

No Motion. You want something, and it isn't happening. I assume for the purposes of this article that what you want is within or not too far from reach. If you've never sung and you want to be a recording star, it could be possible for you to realize this dream, but it will probably call for a different kind of manifesting process.

You Don't Feel Good About Yourself. You're blaming yourself for what isn't happening. You remember other things that didn't happen. You feel life is unfair.

You Feel Weighed Down. You feel depressed and/or discouraged. It may take more effort to do physical activities or to summon up the mental energy to begin or complete projects. Often people who have some experience in working with energy, whether it's through crystals, essences, Reiki, or other vibrational systems, can feel energy density or blockages.

If you have any of these symptoms, don't blame the world and don't blame yourself. Instead, imagine that you're going to do a little psychic yard work. You've planted a number of seeds and bulbs, and the most natural thing in life is for them to grow. All you need to do is clear out those cluttering beliefs, the twigs and dead leaves lying in the way.

Imagine yourself weeding, sweeping, and otherwise clearing out the garden of your heart and spirit so that the flowers of your dreams can unfurl their leaves and open their petals to create a beautiful reality.

colored bar

Gardening Tools

colored bar


Here, I focus primarily on golden stones, because they have a warming, dissolving, sunlike energy.

Citrine is the foremost among these. Being a form of quartz, it has the ability to help dissolve emotional blockages, particularly in the areas of self-esteem, personal power, and the flow of abundance.

Amber: Not a stone, but fossilized resin, this is the very essence of flow. Often used to relieve depression, amber can also help to ground and simultaneously elevate you. Think of a tree with its roots in the earth and its leaves reaching for the sky.

Golden Calcite: All the calcites help to provide a different perspective on life. When we play with this family of crystals, we see, not the reality that's become embedded in our perspective, but a parallel world of possibilities in which dreams not can become true but already are. Golden calcite is particularly helpful in the area of personal matters: home, work, money, family.

Tiger's Eye: The tiger is a patient stalker. It doesn't jump prematurely on its prey just because it's hungry. Thus, when we think it's taking too long for our creations to manifest, the grounding (brown) and energizing (gold) vibrations of tiger's eye can remind us that patience is also receptivity and that receptivity hastens the realization of our dreams.

Herkimer Diamond is often called the happy crystal. Diamond-shaped, multi-faceted quartz, its abundant light is one of the most powerful dissolvers of energetic blockages.

colored bar


Agrimony (Bach) Sometimes we first need to realize we are unhappy, depressed, or weighed down by other emotional burdens. Agrimony is especially for those who pretend to others and themselves that everything is just great. With this essence, one can learn to stop pretending and to reach the place where everything really is just great.

Larch (Bach) Here's your basic self-esteem remedy. I have met very few people who could not benefit from this essence. It is especially useful for those who underrate their talents -- not only to others but to themselves.

Scleranthus (Bach) This essence is ideal for the push-pull dynamics of resistance. "I want this -- but I don't think I deserve it." "I don't want to think about this -- but the more I don't want to, the more the thought comes to me." Scleranthus can do a beautiful job of keeping you from leaping back and forth between the polar extremes and bring you to a more centered perspective.

Otter (Wild Earth Animal Essences) I've added Otter to this list because it is one of the most playful animals around. To watch an individual otter or a family play is to recognize life as a game to be enjoyed, rather than a burden to be endured, or a series of goals to strive after conscientiously and seriously. If you need to lighten up, Otter is a wonderful playmate.

colored bar

Related Articles

A Sense of Self

Where Love Begins

The Vibrations of Love

Beyond the Rainbow
Email Us