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Wishful Thinking

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If you are at all like me, you have dreams which have never been fulfilled. For some it's the vision of a fulfilling career; for others it's to have and experience the love of your life in a soul mate relationship. For many it's the dream of perfect health.

You've probably wondered why your particular dream has never come to be. Your longing is so intense that it seems hardly possible this energy alone wouldn't bring your desire to life. I know just how you feel.

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The Rural Utopia Dream

For many of the years I lived in New York City, I longed to move to the country. When I was in my longing mood, I hated the city. I focused on the filth, traffic, the infinite varieties of pollution, the crowds. Always, when I returned from a weekend or longer in a rural location my negative feelings about the city escalated.

When I imagined myself living in the country, it was always an idyllic experience. The sky was a lovely, clean, blue. I rarely saw a car, much less a human. I frolicked with wild creatures. It was a wonderful vision . . . and it seemed so impossible to achieve.

I didn't understand why, because I thought I'd developed and fine-tuned my manifesting abilities. When I'd imagined my own business it had manifested, and the same thing had happened when I'd decided to upgrade my store location. I was skilled at attracting pleasant and interesting customers and students for my classes. I just couldn't figure out why this country thing wasn't happening.

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The Impossible Dream

As most readers know, I did eventually move to the country. Until now, I've never given much thought to how it finally happened. At present, I have some other dreams which stubbornly refuse to hatch into creation, and I decided to review how the country dream manifested.

It became immediately apparent how much of my thinking and feeling on the subject had been negative. I'd totally focused on what I didn't want: noise, pollution, crowds, concrete. Visions of skyscrapers shutting out the sky towered in my head. I'd forgotten a very important rule of manifesting: You get what you focus on.

In retrospect, I see how well I proved that rule. I focused on the negative aspects of city living, and I got them in abundance. When I did focus on the joys of country life, I always added (though unknowingly) a limitation: "but I'll never have it, even though I want it so much." Again, my focus was on not getting something, with an attitude of feeling sorry for myself which deepened my negativity.

In thinking of my current dreams, I again forgot that I get what I focus on. I also found that no matter how often I reminded myself of this law, negativity pulled at me like quicksand. This automatic tug made me realize I was in the grip of a long-held habit.

Habits are initially formed because they provide benefits. In searching for the benefits of being negative and unhappy, I found them where the roots of many habits are found, in the beginning.

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It Starts with a Cry

Imagine the shock of birth for a newborn baby. It gets pushed from the warmth and shelter of the womb into a noisy and cold world, where it's often greeted with a slap. It's little wonder that a baby's first communication is to cry.

For months, this is its only form of communication. The baby soon learns that crying enables it to receive food, a clean diaper, attention, and love.

Having learned that the most effective way to move from an unpleasant or uncomfortable condition to one which is pleasant and enjoyable is to voice one's unhappiness, the baby becomes conditioned to continue this method into early childhood. How long crying works depends both on how often the child employs it and on the nature of the parents. Some will always automatically run to relieve the suffering of the crying child. Others do their best (or worst) to coax the child out of this habit.

No one, however, teaches the child there are other ways to get what it wants and needs. Few parents tell their children about the remarkable creative powers they have: the power of focused attention and positive thought, the energy of visualization and concentrated feeling -- because the parents themselves are usually not aware of such powers in themselves.

Never having learned the methods of conscious creation, the clever child may develop various techniques of manipulation to ensure its survival, but many rely on the old standbys. It's hard to give up the first technique they learned for survival in physical existence, a habit they acquired without realizing it.

When children become adults, they often replace the infantile act of crying for more sophisticated ways of being. They conclude, often with much complaining, bitterness, or cynicism, that life is unfair. The more intellectual among them may develop broad and sweeping philosophies to prove their points. Others may conclude they are trapped by their karma.

None of them realize they're still trying to get what they want by crying about what they don't want. Beneath the complaints and the philosophies, though, one can hear an infant's wail.

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Breaking the Habit (Gently)

My awareness that I'd become stuck in a lifelong pattern did a lot to release it. When I found myself complaining, I reminded myself I was really voicing a cry for help.

I asked myself what kind of help I needed. Could I provide it for myself, or did I need to ask someone else? Was I afraid to ask someone else for help?

I realized that sometimes I blamed others for not providing the help I needed -- even if I hadn't asked them. This kind of attitude falls into the category, "They should (care enough to) know," and resembles an infant's wordless cry. Though we most often resent spouses and other intimate partners for not understanding our needs without explanation, when we're feeling truly needy, we can resent just about anyone.

The article, People who Need People describes this common condition in detail.

The most important underlying issue to handle in order to turn longing into satisfaction is self-appreciation. When we genuinely appreciate ourselves. When we believe unquestioningly that we deserve whatever we desire, we are far more likely to generate the positive energy needed for fulfillment of those desires.

A practice which both accompanies and enhances self-appreciation is to count your blessings. On days when it seems nothing can elevate me from feelings of self-doubt and despair, I spend time with my cats or make lists of all the truly wonderful things I've created.

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Crystals

Sugilite is probably the most important crystal for dealing with issues of resentment. It helps us to release this emotion, thus clearing room for more positive energies.

The combination of citrine and rose quartz, for self-love and self-esteem, help to energize us to create positive vibrations of self-appreciation.

Turquoise is the communication crystal which particularly helps us to enroll others in the realization of our dreams.

Clear Quartz is an essential crystal to use for any kind of work of self-discovery and self-appreciation. Called the mirror of the soul, it helps us realize that behind the physical costume we've chosen to wear during this lifetime, our eternal soul fully understands how to apply the laws of creation. If we learn how to step out of the way, we can have everything we desire.

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Essences

Willow (Bach) is the classic remedy for resentment. It helps us to realize how useless the blame game is and how the person we hurt most by being resentful is ourselves.

Larch (Bach) helps to deepen our self-appreciation. It reminds us we deserve to realize our dreams and can give us the courage to seek imaginative solutions for realizing our visions. Larch also assists us in asking others to help us.

Mustard (Bach) We can get very depressed about our apparent inability to realize our dreams. Mustard is an excellent remedy to take at the first sign of incipient depression. When taken immediately, it tends to go to work right away, but it has been known to help even with long-term cases of depression (Please note: this is not a medical opinion.)

Honeysuckle (Bach): This remedy helps to relieve the pull towards the past, whether the pull is positive ("I wish I had someone to fulfill all my needs") or negative ("my needs were never fully satisfied, and I'm still crying about it").

Beyond the Rainbow
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