I don't like showoffs. I raised my boys to stand out but not too much, you know?, otherwise people won't like you anymore. Better you should have friends and be popular, than be showy and alone. (From The Loman Family Picnic, by Donald Margulies
The above statement expresses well the conflict we often feel about wanting to accomplish, wanting to be proud of ourselves, wanting others to appreciate our achievements--and the fear that the line between having appropriate self-esteem and being considered a raving egomaniac is a very fine one.
The following list of statements expresses some aspects of this conflict.
The dictionary is equally confused on this issue. It defines humility as the quality of being without pride and as voluntary self-abasement. Self-esteem is described as one's good opinion of one's dignity or worth; while pride is termed both excessive self-esteem and a sense of satisfaction with one's achievements.
If people are humble are they avoiding excessive self-esteem (and just how much, by the way, is excessive?) or are they denying themselves a sense of satisfaction for their achievements? Is one's opinion of one's dignity or worth to be trusted? One could be fooling oneself.
What is at the root of this fear of putting oneself forward?
In earlier times people around the world believed that a child who was any way special might attract the attention of a jealous and possessive deity who would take them away. Some peoples feared that the fairies would snatch a child from the cradle; others were reluctant to speak about a child's gifts lest the gods overhear. Some cultures sacrificed their most promising children to the gods.
While people may no longer hold these particular beliefs many believe that the meek are blessed and that to be human is lesser than to be divine. Those who don't practice formal religion may yet be haunted by the idea that to be too talented, too attractive, too good is somehow dangerous--if not to their lives, to their spiritual growth. They may believe:
Seth (as channeled by the late Jane Roberts) and other nonphysical guides offer a different interpretation of what could be called the divine energy source, describing it as the source of all consciousness, an energy which contains within itself every possibility for creative expression. This being appreciates its creations for their uniqueness, and knows that they in order to realize their full potential must be allowed to manifest as independent forms of consciousness.
We (which includes rocks, trees, flowers, and all other living beings) are here to manifest our gifts in the realm of material existence. Far from being the victims of jealous gods who may envy our talents and covet them for their own use, we are the children of a loving energy which desires only that we fulfill the dreams it has dreamed of us.
A crystal wouldn't dim its light; a flower wouldn't tear off its petals, nor would a cat arrest its graceful motion out of concern that others of its species might think it a showoff. When we humans are clear about the source of our own gifts, when we know that our purpose in expressing them isn't ego gratification, but the manifestation of our soul's purpose, we can be as free in our expression as any other creature.
When we are clear on this so will others be. When we feel that someone is boasting or being an egomaniac it's less a matter of what they're saying but of how they're saying it; what we sense is the insecurity which lies beneath the words and the effort to convince themselves that they're worthy through convincing us.
In the same manner we can free ourselves from feeling attached to our creative expression when we realize that it originates not within our personal beings, but from an inexhaustible source.
We can also be fully expressive without separating ourselves from others or feeling ourselves better than them when
we understand that they come from the same source for the same purpose of creative expression. Our journey is a shared
one in which our experience of physical existence is joyous and loving, in which each act of creativity, each
expression of talent, inspires and enriches the lives of all.
Crystals can provide us with a direct connection to our source. Their effortless expressions of beauty may inspire us in finding and tending our own light, and their vibrations help us to dissolve our blockages to embracing oneness.
Many people find quartz crystals to be the perfect partner for a journey to source. The six sides of a quartz point correspond to the first six chakras; while the termination represents the seventh. As the point of a quartz crystal conducts the energy we send out to and receive from our source, so the inflow and outflow of the seventh chakra's energy harmonizes us with all other forms of consciousness.
In chakra balancing quartz is often placed on or near the crown, to facilitate this flow. It will, however amplify energy flow when placed on any chakra point, and can also be used to accentuate the energy of any stone. We also find it valuable to hold a cluster and contemplate it. With its many points of different sizes and shapes it is a beautiful expression of oneness.
When you meditate with clear quartz it's helpful to have smoky quartz as well. This crystal, the lightest of the dark stones, is a bridge between the first (root) chakra and the crown, and helps us to ground and manifest spiritual energies.
Other helpful stones include citrine, which aids us in manifesting our individuality and will without succumbing to ego overload; amethyst, for experiencing the twilight area between physical and spiritual existence; and aquamarine, which assists us in appreciating the sea of consciousness of which we are a part.
While we particularly recommend the above stones, don't let this listing limit you. Other stones may attract you.
Pay attention to these attractions; they may be guideposts on your journey.
Edward Bach, who discovered the Bach Flower Remedies, felt that the role of flowers in healing was to flood the being with an energy which dissolved blockages to one's connection with Spirit. The nature and source of that blockage differs among people; this is why it's important to find the flower essences which are appropriate for you. The ones we've recommended below are generally helpful for opening the pathway from ME to ALL.
Larch helps to dissolve limitations on self-esteem and creative expression. It also gives people the courage to take risks which self-doubt might have not allowed.
Those who need Holly often feel isolated from others and lacking in love. As a result, they may envy the gifts and accomplishments of others. Holly opens the heart to the experience of appreciation and interconnectedness.
In Heather states low self-esteem may translate into a great need for attention. The flower remedy nurtures a deeper feeling of self-suffiency and enables one to care for others.
Sunflower is a balancing remedy. It helps those who hide their light to let it shine, and assists those whose light
may be more of a self-promoting glare to shine on others.