The November 1999 issue of Rainbow Reflections was entitled "Watching Our Words," an exploration of the power the words we speak and think have to affect our lives.
Specifically, it covered body language (he's a real pain in the _______), exaggerating the difficulties of a situation, creating limitations ("I'll never be able to do that"), and miscommunications (i.e., saying you're furious when you're only annoyed).
Since writing that article I've discovered more about the positive and negative powers of language, this time focusing on some specific words which are so commonly used that their true meaning had become invisible to me.
Another reason I've chosen these words is that they can have strong and specific effects on the outcome of our dreams. Just as exaggerating the difficulty of a situation can make it feel worse, exaggerating one's emotions can upset relationships, and describing one's body as being in pain can create those circumstances, so the following words can limit our ability to realize our desires--or even to be clear on what they are.
If you have experience in creating affirmations you would probably never use any of the words below in a declaration designed to draw to you the realization of your dream. Affirmations are powerful because they are carefully worded for the most positive results. It is said that one positive affirmation, verbally or mentally repeated, can cancel out ten negative thoughts. Most of us though, speak or think the following words many more than ten times a day; thus we may be unknowingly sabotaging our affirmations.
The dictionary defines want as the state of having too little of something desirable or needed, an insufficiency through personal failing, and privation because of poverty. Every time we say "I want" we're saying, "I don't have."
Imagine the power of repeating that word over and over again. It's not necessarily the kind of power you would prefer to harness, each time affirming, "I don't have enough," "I am not enough," or "I am poor."
Do you remember having said that recently? If you do remember, ask yourself what you were really thinking.
If you said it did you feel any kind of commitment about doing what you said you'd try to do? Did you feel that maybe you'd give it a shot? Did you know in your heart that you weren't going to do it at all, but you didn't want to have a argument about it? Did you feel that you have a habit of not keeping your word, and you've decided that it's better not to make promises?
I realize that this is a tricky word, and I intend no disrespect to all those for whom hope is a word used interchangably with faith. I am using it here in a different context, one in which it is somewhat related to "I'll Try."
"Will you arrange for the plumber to come?"
"I hope I have time to make the call."
If someone says that to you expect a continuance of the leaky faucet syndrome.
This word is equally disempowering when you are saying it to yourself. Think of a particular dream you're creating, and say to yourself, "I hope that --------- happens." How powerful does that feel? How committed do you feel to make it happen?
Think about something you know you should do. Do you feel happy about doing it, excited? Do you feel powerful and light-hearted?
When I say "I should," it's always accompanied by a silent groan. It feels heavy; it's an obligation, and it's usually flavored by guilt. "Should" is a word which lives in the past. It generally has to do with rules your parents or school and other social experiences taught you. It speaks the presence of an outside authority which has taken residence in your mind and sometimes runs the show.
Listen to yourself. Notice how often you use these words. You may want to take one at a time. Do this without censorship to the degree that this is possible. Be especially aware of how the speaking or thinking of the words makes you feel.
When you say or think one of these words tell yourself what you are really saying/thinking. For example, with "I'll try," tell yourself the truth. "I'm not going to do it, and I hate this guy for asking me." If you say, "I want," be aware that you are saying, "I don't have. I lack. There is something missing."
Once you have a good idea of the automatic language you've been using you can begin to turn things around. The first step isn't to initiate vocabulary replacements; it's to create some new commitments.
This doesn't mean getting serious and grim. It means having intention. I return to the dictionary, which says that an intention is that which one is resolved to do. It's a purpose. It means focusing one's attention on something. It means that circumstances and excuses and general faint-heartedness aren't going to prevent you. You're going to to do it. It's a promise you make to yourself.
Several of the words which can replace "want," "try," "hope," and "should" are in the above paragraph. They are "I intend," "I promise," "I make a commitment," "I choose."
If you're wondering about a useful way of speaking to replace "I don't want to," consider, "I prefer not to." A preference is a choice.
This process will also help you to sort out what's really important in your life, as you choose which possibilities you decide to give energy to with your commitments. Some wishes and dreams will fall by the wayside, which is probably where they belong, and the faint energy you've given to them can be directed towards your true choices.
The commitments you make to others will also be more powerful. By commitment, I don't mean that it's required to say "Yes" to everything someone asks you to do. It means that with either a "Yes" or a "No" you've made a choice.
This will enhance your feelings of self-worth and integrity because you've responded honestly. Regarding your relationships with other people, while there are those who will have an argument with you if you say no, they will ultimately respect you far more than if you make a half- or empty-hearted nonpromise. From your saying yes to only those requests you intend to fulfill, you will gain the reputation of being a person of integrity.
You will also find that your affirmations, those statements which you have so carefully crafted, will start to hum with life, now that they are empowered by your ability to say what you really mean.
One of the discoveries you may make as you review your language choices is that you don't feel very powerful in the area of accomplishing your dreams. The crystal which in my experience relates most directly to personal power is citrine. It is an excellent stone to program and to meditate with. An excellent stone to combine with it is rutilated quartz, which can accelerate the rate at which your dreams manifest.
Sometimes what is uncovered is fear. It could be a fear of making commitment, or not doing what you should, of committing to achieving a goal and still failing. Charoite helps to release such fears, and also can help to surface fears you didn't know you had.
If you are heavy on the "shoulds", sugilite, a stone which can help to release guilt, is very helpful.
Sometimes we need some passion to get more inspired about to dreams, and more important, perhaps, to give us the enthusiasm to surmount obstacles. The ideal stone for such purposes is ruby.
Mimulus (Bach) relates to charoite, in being an essence which helps to release known fears. The Bach Flower Remedy for unknown fears is Aspen.
Pine (Bach) is the foremost remedy for guilt. It also helps with the related issue of feeling the need to be perfect. Many of us sell out on our dreams because we feel that we can't "get it completely right."
Wild Oat (Bach) is invaluable in setting priorities, and is especially good for those who find themselves attracted to a wide variety of possibilities.
I've added Dolphin (Wild Earth Animal Essences) to this list because I believe that it's desirable to be lighthearted and playful about our goals. Light energy, to me, is what manifestation is all about.
Wild Horse (Wild Earth Animal Essences) helps to engage our heart into helping to fulfill our dreams. The wild horse
is a symbol of a free spirit, which knows no limitations in its journey, and is, as well, a symbol of power.