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Mind Games

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Recently I woke up in the early morning with a feeling I can only describe as one of darkness and congested energy, accompanied by unpleasant sensations of toxic overload. It took me a few minutes to identify it; then I realized that it was worry.

It wasn't ordinary worry, though, the kind which is attached to something which might happen, such as "did I lock the door, turn off the stove; will I or someone I love die of a terrible disease; is there any hope for world peace?" or any of the countless other worries with which I entertain myself late at night.

This sensation was wordless, soundless, a purely vibrational sensation, something I've felt before, but never been able to identify. On this night, though, I was successful. I recognized that it was a worry program.

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Mental Technology

In its simplest terms a program is a set of instructions designed to make something happen. When we program crystals we infuse them with the vibrations of certain thoughts (which we usually call affirmations) so that its energy will be charged to attract sufficient energy to create a shift from non-material existence (the thought) to physical existence (the manifestation of the thought).

We program crystals consciously and deliberately. We don't always realize, though, that the unconscious thoughts and beliefs which we think over and over again can also become organized into programs, and can attract enough energy so that our internal reality ("I'll never have enough money") can also become mirrored in the circumstances of our lives.

Worry is clearly my principal karmic challenge in this lifetime. Somewhere along the line I picked up and internalized the idea that worrying about bad things happening prevents from them happening (which is the opposite of the idea described above).

Thus, though I consciously disbelieve it, there is a very powerful part of me which believes that it's not only important but necessary to worry. In support of this belief my unconscious mind has put together a program which runs automatically and which prompts me to worry, whether or not there's anything to actually worry about. (Something can always be found.)

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Personal Programs

If you have a program it may not be worry. (Why not?) I have noticed people whose programs are about anger. Situations which wouldn't affect others at all arouse them to volcanic outbursts.

They are also prepared to be angry. They will pick up the phone to complain about something, and say to themselves, "I bet I'm going to get the runaround. I bet I'm going to speak to some incompetent person who won't be able to help me. I bet I'm going to have to speak to a supervisor, and then I am going to really explode." While they are waiting for the menu of choices (which, admittedly, might drive the mildest of people to outrage) they are rehearsing their speech.

Those less volatile may favor resentment. They know that their dinner isn't going to be as good as the ones their companions get. They know that even if everyone else in the world is healthy they will get the flu. They suspect that the universe has a huge grudge against them.

Some people know that no matter what they do they will never be good enough. Others know that everyone else is incompetent. Some know that if they're too happy disaster is sure to strike.

They all know this because they have unknowingly programmed themselves to know it.

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Recognizing Your Program

I was able to identify my program because I know that worry is my major issue. If you know what yours is you can skip this part. If you don't read on.

Ask yourself these questions:

  1. When I'm not happy what am I feeling? (worry, anger, depression, a sense of impending doom, low self-esteem, etc.)
  2. When things go wrong who do I blame, and why?
  3. If there were one feeling I could eliminate it would be
  4. The most unfair thing about life is

Keep these questions in mind as you go through your day. Notice the automatic reactions you have to what happens.

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De-Bugging the Program

If you know what your program is you are well on the way to dismantling it. These programs work best in secret and in stealth. They don't do so well once their mechanism is uncovered.

The next step is to distance yourself from it. In the course of my late-night revelation I decided that, having uncovered my own program, it was time to go back to sleep. However, I felt irresponsible about doing so; a voice kept saying to me, "No, you have to worry." This voice was so loud that I realized that I didn't have to worry. It was just some voice telling me that I did.

Since then when I hear it I say to myself, "Oh, there's the worry voice again." By doing this I'm not feeding it energy, and I know that, denied this energy it will gradually dissolve.

You can also accelerate this process with conscious and focused intent, and with the help of crystals and flower and other essences.

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Program Crystals to Unprogram Yourself

Clear quartz provides the ultimate light to shed on those underground programs. If you are not sure what your particular program is meditate, holding a quartz, or program it to help you find the answers you would like.

Azurite is an excellent stone to place on the third eye while meditating. It penetrates below conscious awareness and brings to the surface those beliefs which have organized themselves into an efficient program.

Some people like to be jolted into awareness, and obsidian is their stone. For a mild jolt consider snowflake obsidian.

Charoite, another third eye stone, is excellent for working with known and unknown fears. Often worry masks fear, and getting to the source of things is helpful.

Sugilite is the ideal stone for those who are running resentment programs. It also relates to the third eye.

Green Calcite is an all-purpose stone for any kind of mental rigidity, including repetitive programs.

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De-Programming with Essences

I have recently been taking Crow (Wild Earth Animal Essences), and believe that it helped me to identify my particular program. Crow stands for sacred law, which relates to inner honesty.

Aspen (Bach) helps us to identify unknown fears. Often truths are delivered to us in the form of frightening dreams, and Aspen can help to reduce the fear content of these experiences.

Holly (Bach) is very helpful in dissolving all programs based on anger, and Willow is useful for relieving resentment.

When self-esteem is an underlying issue, which is often the case, Larch (Bach) can help.

Finally, Rock Water (Bach), which has many characteristics in common with green calcite, helps to dissolve mental and emotional rigidities.

Beyond the Rainbow
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